


Homecoming

by Venturous



Series: The Heart Must Pause [10]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Multi, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 15:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venturous/pseuds/Venturous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robbie and James have a talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> AU after The Ramblin' Boy  
> many grateful obeisances to basaltgrrl for ~~fixing my screwed up tenses~~ agreeing to beta for me

_You have 1 new message. Message from: Hathaway, James. Received Thursday 9:58pm_

_Sir, This is James. I am coming home, and I need to speak with you. It’s important. Please give me a call. I’ll probably be back in town midday Saturday. I hope you can meet with me before Monday morning. Thank you, um, ‘bye._

How had he missed this call? He must have wandered away from the phone, been in the loo or something. James. Talk. His throat felt like it was closing up, his palms ever so slightly clammy. Well, they needed to do this, to clear the air. He called up James’ mobile number and pressed talk.

===

 

James was busy convincing Jamie and Kevin that he would be back soon when his mobile chimed. He assured them he would call and tell police stories, and squeezed them in a fierce hug before releasing them back to their mum. Ellie stepped forward and put her cool hands on his face. They looked into each other, and startled when the ferry’s horn blasted.

He kissed her fiercely before sprinting up the gangplank as the dockhands cast off. With a great blast of diesel smoke, MV Lewis set sail for the mainland. James waved until he could no longer make out their tiny figures on the quay.

Heading to the coffee bar James saw that Lewis had called and he climbed up to the top deck, trying to catch a signal. When he pressed _call_ he was at first annoyed, then relieved by the scratchy sound of a bad signal. He prayed Lewis wouldn’t answer.

“James? That you?”

“Ye- yes, sir I’m heading back today.” The static was getting worse.

“Yer coming home? Are you sure I heard that right? James, can you hear me?”

“Sir! I’ll be home tomorrow, about mid-day.”

“Call me when you’ve got a signal, lad. I can barely hear ya. Good to hear your voice, man. Come home.”

“Yes, sir. Call you later.”

Gratefully he rang off and shut the phone, blaming his trembling hand on the vibration of the ship.

==

 

As James approached Inverness, rolling down out of the mountains, he remembered to call again. This time it was a little easier, getting a signal, as well as making conversation.

“Lewis.”

“Hello Sir, I wanted to update you on my travels. I will be back in town tomorrow in the mid afternoon.” He paused. “I hope you are well, sir.”

“I’m good now that I hear your voice, lad.” James could hear Lewis’ voice relax, warming.

“I need to talk to you, sir, ideally before we get to the office on Monday. Would you have any time…”

“My place, tomorrow for tea. That’s an order, sergeant.”

“But sir, it’s Saturday night, don’t you have…”

“Laura assures me that she will survive another Saturday night without me.”

James could hear his smile, and in turn smiled into the phone. But the next notes were lower, more urgent.

“It’s very important that we talk, James.”

He sighed. “I know.”

“Now for heaven’s sake, lad, hang up and drive!”

He drove until he was blinking with exhaustion, and then of course it was miles and miles before he found lodgings. He slept like the dead until well after ten the next morning, thus arriving in Oxford later than he expected. James unloaded the car and keyed himself in to his flat, and it seemed a stale and unwelcoming place after life with Ellie and the boys.

Glancing at the clock he noticed he was due to be at Lewis’ flat in less than an hour. He ruffled his hair and stripped on the way to the shower. After, he pulled three things out of the closet before he settling on what to wear. “This ISN’T a date, you idiot. You’re resigning, remember?” James muttered angrily to himself, and threw a rejected sweater on the floor.

===

 

By the time he stood at Lewis’ door his guts were tense and watery. Should he use his key? Probably not. He raised his hand to knock and willed it to stop shaking. Just as he struck the door it opened, and a startled Robbie Lewis stared at him.

“James! Come in, please.” Lewis backed up awkwardly.

James closed his eyes briefly and said farewell to his fantasy that they’d leap into each other’s arms. With a sigh he stepped tentatively into the hallway. Lewis’ kitchen was bright and warm, familiar and welcoming. James took in the feminine touches that had appeared in the week since he’d visited.

Lewis was rummaging in the fridge and came out with a few beers. “Perhaps you’d prefer something stronger?”

Hathaway smiled and held out the gift box from Abhainn Dhairg distillery.

“ _Spirit of Lewis_? I’ve not heard of this one.”

“It’s from a resurrected distillery in the Hebrides, sir. I thought you’d be amused. And, it’s a fine single malt, plenty of peat.”

Robbie looked flustered, then refocused. “Well let’s give it a go.”

James reached for a Newcastle. “I’d rather an ale, sir, on an empty stomach.”

Lewis ignored him and took out two short glasses, seemed to find them wanting, for he busied himself polishing imaginary dust off of them.

“I was up there visiting my cousin. She married a MacKenzie and has two boys.”

“It’s a far piece to get there, eh? Those highland moors are so desolate.”

 _God’s country._ James thought.

Lewis opened the box and broke the seal, pouring each of them a dram. Then he rummaged about and found some crisps. Finally he raised his glass toward his sergeant.

“Welcome home, lad.”

It was their first extended eye contact, and James fought the urge to look down, away. He would get through this. Words tumbled through his mind and he waited for some order or priority to emerge.  James felt his heart speed up and imagined his ears were turning red, so he blurted “Thank you, sir” and dropped his eyes. He made for the sitting room, where he perched uncomfortably on a small chair, rather than sprawl on the settee.

Lewis watched him and followed with the bottle, glasses and crisps. He sat in his usual spot, took a swig, sighed and cleared his throat.

“It’s not easy for an old sod to talk about some things, James.” He began quietly. “But I have learned something in the last weeks, about you, about meself.” Robbie took another fortifying gulp of the single malt, which burned going down. “mmmm, yes, well…” He stared at James.

“You need to sit over here, James. This isn’t an interview. I’ll not bite you.”

 _Perhaps that would help,_ James thought. He blushed but complied, dutiful as always, settling as far away from Lewis as he could.

“I’m sorry sir, about…”

“James, for pity's sake, drop the ‘sir’!” He sounded exasperated. “This is about you and me, as mates. It’s hard enough already to…find words for these things.” Lewis continued, leaning closer.

“When I couldn’t reach you, when you didn’t respond to me, I was … upset, James, worried, yes, but more than that, I… I – bugger it! I’m not a man of words, so I’ll say it plain: I canna have you disappear like that! I’ll not lose you, lad. … ay, I’m maddled still!”

James watched him struggle for words and tried to speak.

“I’m sorry, sir, Robbie, I couldn’t, I was angry about returning early, and then surprised, I’m happy for you, don’t misunderstand, but I.. wasn’t ready to come home, and…” James loathed how he was babbling, but he pressed on. “I don’t think I can stay on the force, sir. The only reason I’m still here is because of you. You, this work with you, it saved me, sir…”

“So how does that add up to you leaving, then, James?

Robbie continued. “I’ve done some thinking since you told me, ‘if you go, I go.’ It works both ways, soft lad. I have no interest in doing this job without ye.”

Hathaway took that in, feeling a bit stunned.

“Laura has this idea that, when you came home and there I was with… DC Gray and… you felt replaced…”

Very quietly James replied: “It wasn’t Gray, sir.” He looked at Robbie with a wry and lovely smile.

Lewis felt his face reddening.  “I’m a slow old coot, lad. I didn’t think about .. I didn’t imagine you’d… oh hell, laddie. It had crossed me mind, but I am too auld to change me thinking about some things. I loved ye fine whatever you were, whoever you loved, but never could see meself…”

Robbie groaned. “This is impossible.”

James was stirring with confusion. What was Lewis saying?

 _Well, it was now, or never_. James raised his hand and cupped the side of Robbie’s face, that remarkably expressive face that he loved.

Lewis’ eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open and James moved in for a kiss, terrified but no turning back now. He willed Robbie to lean into the kiss. He moved to curl around him, to enfold his partner with his love, drinking him in. _This, my only chance_. He felt himself falling, turning, lost.

James felt hands on his shoulders, hands that followed the line of his arms, down across his chest and pushed, first gently, then more firmly.

“James, soft lad.” Lewis’ voice was tender and warm.  “James.” Robbie caught James’ eye, gazing into him. He began to speak but James silenced him, placing one long finger to Lewis’ lips.

“I love you, Robert Lewis. I’ve loved you for years, and I want to make love to you, and spend my life with you.” He felt lightheaded, amazing, to have finally said it aloud. He continued.

“I know you don’t feel the same, and I haven’t wanted to face it. But I’ve needed to tell you the truth before we part.”

Lewis was still for what seemed like a very long time, and James finally took another breath.

Robbie smiled. “I do love you, you awkward sod. More than I have any idea how to say. But the truth is, James, I’m just not built that way.”

James feared that when this moment came he would to turn away, to curl in shame and flee. But that was not what he did.  He stayed, willingly present, taking what was offered.  He waitied for the grief to slay him.

“James, don’t ever disappear on me again, you hear?”

Robbie grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled his lanky sergeant into a hug. “I don’t want to live without you James. I’m not sure what that looks like when I’m retired, and you’re promoted.” He felt the twitch of protest, but did not release his hold.

“Or whatever you do next. You’re brilliant, laddie, and you will be no matter what you do. We’ve done amazing work together, you and I. I couldn’t imagine a better partner. And you’re me best mate.”

James had melted onto Lewis’ shoulder, and sighed. He feared he might cry, but relaxed into the warmth of the embrace.

“You may not realize, James Hathaway, that you saved me life. I didna think I could come back to me work, and you made me see that I could do more than carry on, I could enjoy life again.”

James sat up and looked his partner in the eye.  They were going to be all right.

**Author's Note:**

> agh! I have agonized over that almost as much as James. I knew what needed to happen, but wanted to lapse into a HEA/PWP. But that's for another fic!
> 
> Stay tuned for an epilogue.


End file.
